is anyone as beautiful as they'd like to be?

Think of all the time you've spent in your life trying to be smarter, more beautiful, more talented, etc. When you look in magazines do you see 100 things you wish were different about yourself? When you see someone else succeed, do you wish it were you instead? Do you wish you were skinnier? Curvier? Had longer hair? Had blonder hair? Had a boyfriend? Etc. etc. etc.



Jeffery R Holland says it best when he said: 

"I suppose no one is as handsome or as beautiful as he or she wishes, or as brilliant in school or as witty in speech or as wealthy as we would like, but in a world of varied talents and fortunes that we can't always command, I think that makes even more attractive the qualities we can command. Such qualities as thoughtfulness, patience, a kind word, and true delight in the accomplishment of another. These cost us nothing, and they can mean everything to the one who receives them." 

My challenge to you today is to make a list, whether on actual paper, or just in your mind, about the qualities we CAN control. We can be hardworking, we can be understanding, we can be patient with those around us. 



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the most terrifying experience of my life

On Saturday I had the most heart-stopping terrifying experience of my life. I was with a girlfriend at a movie theater waiting to see a chick flick. Our husband's were in another theater watching Captain America. A few commercials in, a guy on the back row stood up started saying some weird stuff. At first we thought maybe he was just calling a friend up, or just yelling something weird about the movie.

I couldn't hear him super well because the movie was loud but he started getting louder and didn't look like he planned on sitting down anytime soon. And then he took his jacket off and put his hands in the air and started repeating "No oxygen. No oxygen in here. No oxygen....Everyone listen. It's not bad. It's not. It's not bad." Everyone's faces were in sheer terror. I was 99% sure he was going to hurt us.

The friend I was with started to stand up and said, "We need to get out of here." I told her to sit back down. If he had a gun he'd shoot her for running out. I started praying in my heart and looking around to see what everyone was going to do. A man in front of us said he was going to go up there but his girlfriend was holding him back with tears in her eyes. I stopped listening to the crazy man but he continued to yell. Everyone was watching him so I looked back just as he reached into his back pocket and someone yelled, "Everyone run!" And we all pushed and shoved our way out of the theater as fast as we could.

I never looked back. I ran and ran. Our lives were at stake and people were hysterical. I didn't ever hear gun shots, but we all just kept going anyway. I found my friend once we were out of the theater and held her while she cried. The police were heading in as soon as we got outside. I called my husband and he answered the second time, I told him it was an emergency and to grab my friend's husband as well. They came out and we told them what happened. They held our shaking bodies and I tried to get my heart rate back down to normal.

The police asked if we heard any direct threats. I told him no. He said another witness said the man threatened to throw a grenade and that's when everyone ran. I'm not sure if he actually did anything at all, or if even actually had anything on him. Everyone was okay so I guess nothing dramatic happened, and the movie theater went right about normal business.

If I was ever in a mass killing in a movie theater, I suspect that's how it would've felt. I was shaking and scared, but I also had so many thoughts run through my mind.

I was grateful I'd spent a night before with girlfriends I hadn't made time to see in almost 8 months. I'm grateful I kissed my husband and told him I loved him when we parted even though he was just in the next theater over. I was grateful I didn't have any regrets from my life in that moment.

I'll still go see movies at theaters, I might sit a little closer to the exit, but I'll still go. It was scary, but I was grateful in that moment that I was able to speak to my Heavenly Father and ask Him that if it be His will to protect us and help me to know what to do. I'm even more grateful to know that if something HAD happened, my marriage was an eternal marriage and that I would still be with my husband forever. It was eye-opening, and even though it's made it a little harder to sleep at night, I'm more grateful than ever for the life I am living and for all the beautiful people in it.

Be grateful. Live every moment like it's your last. And love those around you a little more than necessary, because in those life-changing moments, the relationships around us matter more than anything else. 

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sounds mind. 
1 Timothy 1:7

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update on us



She... 
Graduates cosmetology in September
Got a new blog design by the amazing Brielle
Is creating a long list of Netflix shows to watch
Steals the blankets at night
Is dreaming of a trip to Disneyland


He....
Is still working as an admissions consultant for an online university
Started his Bachelors for accounting at the beginning of April
Missing projects where he gets to build and is excited to get started on a Mother's Day project
Coerces Brooklyn onto the motorcycle every one in awhile
Makes the most delicious sconeburgers


We...
Are still reading our scriptures together and praying every night.
Watch Disney movies on Sunday's
Have been married 8.5 months
Love going to the gym with our friends
Are still living our happily ever after


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52 Posts That Will Make You a Blogging Rockstar



Promoting Your Posts
10 Things to Know to Have a Blog Post Go Viral
How to Use Hootsuite
How I Doubled My Pinterest Follows in 3 Weeks
How to Optimize Your Search Posts for Search Engines
Create a Pinterest Mouse Over
Getting Started on Pinterest for Blogs, Business, and Personal Use
Creating a 'Pin-It' Button
Getting Verified On Pinterest


Blog Posts
What can a Blog Series Do For You
Organizing Your Blog Posts
Tips for Your About Page
Style and Grammar Tips
How to Link in Your Posts the RIGHT Way

Images
How To Host Images on Blogger
How to Create a Blog Button
How to Resize a Photo- And Keep Its Proportions

Design Help
Customize Your "Page Not Found" 
Deleting the Photo Shadow
How To Center Your Header
How to Make a Blank Square for Blog Design on Blogger
5 Things Your Sidebar Is Missing
How to Make and Install a Favicon
How to Remove Dots and Dashes From The Bottom of Your Blog
5 Things You Should Know When Choosing a Web Designer
What to Look for In a Premade Design
3 Tips When Getting a Blog Design

Commenting & Planning
Blog Maintenance Things You're NOT Doing
Save a Tree, Use Evernote Instead of a Blog Planner
7 Ways to Be a Better Commenter
Dear No-Reply Comment Blogger
Are You a No-Reply Blogger?
How to Not Be a No Reply Blogger

Sponsorships
Ditch Passionfruit, Run Your Own Ad Shop!
Blog Sponsorships, A Few Things I've Learned

Blogging Do's and Don'ts
Blogging Tips
4 Blogging Etiquette Rules You Don't Know You're Breaking
4 MORE Blogging Etiquette Rules You Don't Know You're Breaking
Blogging Lessons, The Hard Way
Easy Starter Blogger Do's and Dont's
5 Basic Tips for Bloggers
Take Away Notes from a Blog Conference

New Bloggers
How to Start a Blog
Tips for New Bloggers

Wordpress
What I Love About Wordpress
Is Wordpress for You?
Blog Platform Comparison Chart
The Ultimate Guide from Moving from Blogger to Wordpress
Using nRelate
Moving Discus From Blogger to Wordpress
Google Analytics With Wordpress





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how to choose sponsored posts



Sponsored posts can be considered a taboo in the blogging world, as we tend not to trust something as a real recommendation if someone has been paid for it. However, there is a way to do this and to do it right. My name's Kate and I am the blogger behind Diaries of an Essex Girl, a travel and lifestyle blog that I write from Frankfurt, Germany where I currently live with my partner. We left England, decided to travel the world and with my blog being one of our sources of income now, I've had to teach myself how to keep my readers happy whilst keeping my bank balance in check. Here's the method I use to choose which sponsored posts to accept on my blog, I'm hoping it'll help you too!

  Is it relevant to current blog content?

One of the most important things to consider when you receive a sponsored post request is if it fits into your blog's niche. The amount of times I've seen a blog I like post about something completely unrelated is disappointing, it also really puts me off their blog. For example, if you have a food blog, you shouldn't accept a sponsored post for a travel company. The same goes if you have a travel blog and a fashion brand contacts you because it won't make any sense to your readers. Readers don't mind sponsored posts if they are relevant to the content because whatever you are advertising could be useful for them. Once I had a company ask me to advertise glasses in exchange for a free pair. First of all, I don't wear glasses and second of all, I am predominantly a travel blogger. Even lifestyle bloggers will struggle to get away with an entire post on glasses because their readers don't come for fashion, they come for lifestyle. Keep. It. Relevant.

  Can it be incorporated into current content?

This is my favourite way to accept sponsored content. I have a rule for myself when accepting sponsored posts that if I am going to cover a post similar to the sponsored content, I'll take it. For example, I wrote a post about visa issues my partner and I were having when looking into our future travel, and at the same time a visa company had contacted me for a sponsored post. As I knew I could include a sponsored link that was relevant to my readers, I took it on. I've done this several times now and found readers are the most responsive to links like this, as it doesn't spoil my content for a reader not interested in clicking the link. It's better to build a post, then include relevant sponsored content, than it is to build a post around sponsored content.

Would I recommend this if I weren't being paid?
The next thing to consider after I decide if the content is relevant to my blog, is if I would recommend it without being paid to do so. For example, I wouldn't recommend a hotel that charged $1000 per night for a room, even if the payout was good, because I know most of my readers (nor I!) could afford this. Also, because that is a ridiculous price for a hotel, right?

  How much am I compensated for this post?
This depends on the amount of readers you have, but you shouldn't be accepting pennies for including sponsored content. This is particularly important if you are a new blog or don't have a lot of daily visitors. Do not accept links that pay you per click, as chances are you won't make a lot of money from it. It's also not wise to accept sponsored links that pay you in commission for purchases made, unless you are an experienced blogger with a large readership. Personally, I prefer to receive payment before the post goes live or on the day the post goes live. However, getting a company to agree to this can be tricky. I would say the longest you should wait for payment is 30 days. Do not work with a company who pay you 3 months after you've posted the content unless you work with them regularly.

  Will I receive additional exposure?

As well as payment for your post, some companies will advertise it themselves, particularly if you are reviewing them. This is great exposure for your blog because this exposes their existing customers to you, and providing you've kept it relevant to your content, they should be interested in your other content too. A win-win situation, if you have the opportunity!

  When was my last sponsored post? I can't be the only blogger who has un-followed a blog because of the amount of sponsored posts it churns out, can I? Time and time again, this is an issue with bloggers who begin to earn money from their blogs. Make sure you space out your sponsored posts and consider what your blog's homepage/RSS feed looks like at a glance. Ideally, you don't want more than one sponsored post in your ten most recent posts. If you accidentally schedule two sponsored posts close to each other, ensure your content surrounding it is of great quality. Don't let your readers unfollow you because they assume every post is trying to sell them something for your own gain. Your readers need to be able to trust you. I hope these tips will help you in deciding what sponsored content to accept on your blog, whether you are a new or old blogger!

 Do you currently accept sponsored posts? What other things do you consider before you take them on?

how and when to reply to comments

Happy Spring Cleaning! My name is Kathryn and I blog over at As Told By Kathryn.

ATBK

That's me! I have been blogging for a year on "As Told By Kathryn" but previously had a YouTube channel for almost a year, and have had two other blogs as well. As much as I loved my YouTube channel, it wasn't for me. It was a very cliquey community and very limiting. Whatever you classified yourself as was what you had to make videos on, otherwise it was not accepted. And when you would be classified as "lifestyle" then that produced the assumption that you would do Daily Vlogs. It was just  a lose lose situation. So I started a blog. But I was a newbie and thought that I still had to abide by these non existent "rules" and posted really awkward posts about nail polishes and my favorite drug store makeup and it was just awkward and forced and weird. So when people would comment on any of these posts, I would never know how to respond to comments. If it was a question, I would answer it, and if it was a statement I would just let it sit there. I didn't know what to do with them! I also had my "comment approval" on as well as a "captcha" (that really annoying thing trying to convince you that you're actually a robot). 

Then I started "As Told By Kathryn." A blog where I could talk about what I wanted to talk about it, how I wanted to phrase it, what pictures I would post, when I would post. I was comfortable with my blog and loved it. And that is when comments became a thing. These weren't comments from strangers or a random person. These comments were from friends. They were thoughtful comments, comments that I wanted to respond to. So, with all of that: When and how are YOU supposed to respond to comments?

I like to respond as soon as I can. This being said, it is difficult to always respond right when I get the comment. Life happens, you will get busy, things will come up, and that comment notification or email will get buried before you know it. I try to respond to comments within the week it was posted. Just because it is fresh in your mind, their mind, win win situation. To help with this, be sure to have your comment notifications sent to your email! This is a new tip that I just added, but the comments are posted on my blog but are also sent to me as an email, so I can respond right away from my email if I have my phone on hand. With this, though, your response comment will not post on your blog, so if that if something you wanted, be sure to respond directly on your blog (thats's how it works for blogger at least)! 

Now that we have the "when," we get the how. BE REAL. I cannot emphasize this enough. Your blog is you, it is your personality, your life, your day, your experience, so let that shine through your comment! Even if it is just a simple "thank you! xo" or if you don't like that, at least something. Why? Because they took the time to read your blog, and leave a comment, letting you know their opinions, or just them telling you they read your post! It was an act of kindness, and we want to keep the world running so respond with another act of kindness. I get really giddy when people leave comments on my blog because I am still shocked that people actually read it. 

Luckily, I have not had to deal with hate comments on my blog, but I did have some of these on my YouTube. They aren't fun, but you just have to be the bigger person, because the bigger picture is that you are putting yourself and your life out there, on the internet, for everyone and anyone to see, and they are hiding behind a computer/phone/iPad/whatever other technology you can get internet on now-a-days. This is when people turn on their comment approval notifications, but I feel that that isn't necessary just because my blog community experience has been so positive that it has not been an issue. Either way, my rule of thumb is to respond to all comments! Even if it is just a quick "thanks" or a "hi" or anything! They took the time to let you know they read your post, the least you could do for them is let them know you appreciate them for that!


staying true to yourself in blogging

true-to-yourself 

  1. Remember why you started. Everyone starts a blog for one reason or another. For some of us the reason was to keep a journal of our life happenings so our family could be up to date. For others it is a creative outlet so we can post fashion and crafts. Someone said to me the other day, "It still makes me happy just to have a place to share my thoughts, ya know?" Yes. I do know! And that is refreshing to hear, because at the end of the day... having that place is the best reason for blogging. 

  2. Know your strengths. This ultimately comes back to why you started. None of us started a blog to share the things we weren't good at. We started our blog to share things we think our worth sharing with the people around us. Let me give you a quick example from my own life. Sometimes I like to do crafts... but at the end of the day I am extremely impatient and within an hour of starting I try to figure out a crafting shortcut. By no means is crafts a strength for me... so while I will share little things I am doing sometimes, I don't put focus there because no one wants to see instructions on how to craft a craft that is only halfway done. Ya dig? 

  3. Focus on your blog and not how you can achieve another blog's status. The moment I started worrying about how to grow and how I could be like (fill in the blank) and her blog... I lost all sight of what I was writing about. It was more of, what can I write that will get readers over to my little corner of the internet? And at that point not only did I loose myself, but I lost the readers that had been extremely important to me in the first place! The ones that had supported me since the very beginning. They are more important than a million of trendy followers. 

  4. Be honest. Don't pretend. From day one I made a promise to myself that I would never sugar coat my life. I have had some really awesome times but I have had some really sucky times too... and I do not want to be the person that makes other women feel like their life is less than perfect because they are not living on cloud nine all the time. So I share how hard it is to be away from my husband, but I also share how wonderful he is to me while we are apart. And I share that I lost my job, but I also share when I get a job I love. Don't pretend your life is hunky dory. Because eventually that will carry from blog life to real life and you will miss out on some of the greatest lessons in life. There is a lot more too my remaining true to yourself list... and you can read all over it over at Love, The Skinnys. I can tell you from my own time blogging that I have learned a lot about myself because I followed these steps. And I have fallen into the trap of keeping up with the next big blogger more times than I care to admit. But at the end of the day, the choice is up to you if you want to live a life for yourself or live a life to impress others. And the only way to become confident in the person you are, is to remain true to yourself... in your writing and in your life.

choosing blogs to sponsor

Hey there, ALTJ readers!  It's Rachael again.  I'm so excited to be a part of Brooklyn's "Spring Clean your blog" series!  Today let's chit chat on how to choose what blogs to sponsor.



I'm a college student, so I'm not really ROLLING in the dough.  I have, however, invested some money into my blog because I think it's definitely worthwhile!  However, there are some things to keep in mind when trying to decide what blogs to sponsor.  Here are my guidelines that I stick to when deciding who to sponsor!



Size of the Blog
It's tempting to try and just buy ads for "bigger" bloggers, but I've noticed that honestly you get better attention from smaller bloggers that are willing to do more with your adspace!  To me, I've learned it's better if I buy an adspace with a blogger I have a connection.  If they're already reading your blog, that's a bonus!  That just means that they'll be more willing to share what they already love!  It's a win win :)

Content
This is KEY.  I am a lifestyle blogger (fancy schamcy way of saying I write about what I feel like writing about!), so I advertise on lifestyle blogs!  However, I have advertised on faith/relationships/Christian blogs too, because the "core values" of my blog align with those.  I would not, however, advertise on mommy blogs, health/fitness blogs, or anything that I don't really blog about.  Not that I don't read those (because I do!), but because I know that those readers might not love my blog.

Price
I'm in college.  I do not make tons of money off my blog.  Therefore, I do not spend a lot!  I always look for adsales ;)  Also, I always want to get the most out of my money, which leads me too...

What they Offer
Things to consider: Can you guest post? {great way to get your voice to their readers and truly make an impression!}  Will they give you social media shoutouts?  Will they read and comment on your blog?  I personally always want a little feature on their blog, because I think that's a great way to "show me off!"

What are things YOU consider when you choosing to sponsor a blog?

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how to effectively promote your blog on social media

*This is a guest post by Hayley from A Beautiful Exchange.


Hey there, you guys! I'm Hayley and I normally hang out over at A Beautiful Exchange, but just had to pop in for Brooklyn's amazing series! I'm so excited that she asked me to join her for this round and am happy to be here! :)

If you're a blogger, which I'm assuming you are since you are reading this post, then you know the importance of a good social media engagement and what that can mean for your blog. The greatest things about many of the social media outlets that are available right now, is that they give you multiple platforms to share with readers--bloggers and non bloggers alike! We all know that social media can really help us "get our foot in the door," but often times it can be overwhelming when we start thinking about all of the different accounts you can have and the different approaches that you should take when posting on each one! So if you are feeling a little lost when it comes to social media and its relationship with your blog, I hope I'm able to help you out a little! I've broken down promotion into the top 3 social media platforms that are beneficial to bloggers. (I do know that there are other outlets that are helpful for blogging as well, but these are the ones that I have seen most success with, so bear with me!)


In my opinion, Twitter is the most difficult of the three when it comes to promotion. It's the absolute best for interacting with other bloggers and readers, but because you only have 140 characters to convince someone that they have to click on your link, you have to be very picky with what you choose to say. When I'm promoting on Twitter, I try to consider what would make me want to click on that link. It frustrates the dickens out of me when I see a "promotion" that looks like this:

"Check out [BLOG TITLE] on @abexchangeblog's blog today!"

Would you want to click on that? I know I sure wouldn't unless the post title was eye-catchingly crazy. The tweet above doesn't tell anyone anything and doesn't make the reader of the tweet feel like they are missing anything at all. Instead, something like this would work much better:

"I love this list of budgeting tips from @ABExchangeBlog! There are 2 or 3 that I really need to implement! [LINK]"

Not only do you have to be careful with how you choose to promote a link, but you also need to promote that link multiple times a day on Twitter. I would say that the "magic" number of promotion for one link a day would be somewhere between three and five. Now, this doesn't mean you should go promoting four different posts of yours, each link getting three to five shout outs. This means that you focus on ONE post and promote it multiple times to your followers. The reason for this is that most people follow tons of people on Twitter and your links will get lost in the shuffle very quickly. Don't go all tweeting crazy, but keep your links visible in your followers' feeds!



Oh, Facebook--the one we hate to love and love to hate. If you haven't been using Facebook until recently, you probably haven't felt the sting of Facebook's new algorithms, but engagement from readers is getting more and more difficult because of the blue guys wanting to "force" people into paying for advertising. In short, all of this craziness means that you have to catch people's eyes even more, soliciting some sort of interaction from them in order for your posts to be seen regularly in their feed. If you ask me, the "old ways" are much more effective, but I guess I'm not a billionaire social-media-managing genius. 

So if Facebook's algorithms suck so much, why do bloggers continue to use Facebook? Well, quite simply because everyone else does! As of February 2014, Facebook has about 1.23 billion users worldwide, while Twitter only has about 243 million. There's a much larger pool of people and even with the introduction of Instagram and Twitter, most people still regularly check their Facebook pages, leaving a perfect opportunity for you to toss your content into the mix among pictures of babies and engagement announcements. Since you're going to be going up against a large amount of content and a frustrating algorithm, you want to (again) make readers feel like they have to click on your link. Thankfully, you have a lot more space to get that done than on Twitter. Take advantage of that space and add a little quote from your post right before your link. For example:


I have often found that it is also very beneficial to use a photo when you post a link on Facebook so that it doesn't just slip into the background on everyone's news feed. Combinbing those two methods, I usually submit one "main" promotion, then one later on with a smaller quote or just a little tease phrase similar to what I would use on Twitter! I don't recommend promoting the same post more than twice a day on Facebook. My posts typically look like this:

visit this page


I saved the best for last you guys, because Pinterest is the BOMB when it comes to promoting blog content! I could (and probably should) do an entire post dedicated to Pinterest alone, but since I've already kept you for too long today, we will just touch on the basics. Since I began looking at stats and tracking referrals, Pinterest has always been my second most traffic source, right behind Bloglovin'! Pins bring in people that wouldn't normally visit my site and allow them to enjoy content that is useful or encouraging to them, possibly even resulting in their following the blog or becoming a regular reader! If you work it to your advantage, Pinterest can completely transform your monthly statistics (not that that is what's important, but it does matter, yeah?)!!

Before tackling the different methods for bringing in an optimal amount of traffic from Pinterest, let's just talk about the type of content that is appropriate to pin. A lot of people say that you should pin everything, but I personally think that would be annoying for your Pinterest followers and wouldn't really help you all that much in the end. The things that normally do the best on Pinterest are recipes, quotes, fashion, beauty, and helpful tips/tricks, although your entire post doesn't have to revolve around one of these things in order to generate a successful pin. You can write about something personal, while including a few pictures of you in a cute outfit, pin those, then watch the traffic come in.

When you do share a post that you think has great Pin-potential, make sure that you:

Use plenty of keywords in the description

Use a description that will show how awesome your post is 
ex. "Taco Soup Recipe" vs. "The most amazing taco soup recipe! SO easy, SO quick, and SO delicious!"

Use VERTICAL photos--they show up bigger on Pinterest

Re-pin your own pins every once in a while to throw them back in the mix

ADD TEXT to your photos, especially recipes or helpful tips--give people a good idea of what they can find if they click over to your post.

Organize your boards by topic, then include a lot of keywords in their description boxes to drive some search traffic over to your pins.

I think that just about covers it, although there are SO many things to consider with Pinterest that I just don't have time to mention with you guys today! There are a ton of resources out there if you want to know more about Pinterest statistics and demographics! Also, if you currently use Google Analytics to track your statistics (which you should be, because it is the most reliable option), you can look at which pins specifically are bringing in the most traffic. Find that tutorial here!

Thanks so much for hanging out with me today! I hope that this post has been super helpful to you! If you want to check out a few more tuturials and tips for blogging resources and growing your blog, you can do that here. I also offer blog consulting that is super fun and also a great way to lay out tangible plans for growing YOUR blog specifically!

Be sure to click on over to the blog or say "hi" on Twitter. I'd love to "meet" you! 
Until next time...XOXO



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what i learned from the trolls on frozen


Some mornings I wake up with the song "Fixer Upper" stuck in my head. It's SO catchy right? But my favorite part of the song comes towards the end.

"People make bad choices if they're
 mad or scared or stressed,
 throw a little love their way, 
you'll bring out their best! 
True love brings out the best! 
Everyone's a bit of a fixer upper, 
that's what it's all about...
 We need each other to raise us up and round us out."

Three points from those lyrics.

1. When people you love make a bad decision, ask yourself if they were mad, scared or stressed. Those emotions often execute themselves in the form of bad decisions in an effort to try and take control of their lives and seem less vulnerable. Throwing love their way is the BEST thing you can do for someone who is truly struggling, and even people who are treating you awfully. True love, done in the right way is not manipulative. When you are kind to others because you genuinely care, that true love brings out their best.

2. Everyone's a bit of a fixer upper. You don't marry a perfect person. Your parents aren't perfect people. Your best friend isn't perfect, and YOU aren't perfect. Remembering that everyone needs some fixing up can give you more patience with the people around you and yourself.

3. We need each other. The truth is, the most rewarding parts of our life come from the relationships we create with those around us. We need each other to be there with us through the hard times as support and encouragements, and we also need them there to celebrate with us when we have victories.

What's your favorite song from Frozen?


The Best F Words

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powered by InLinkz
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