is anyone as beautiful as they'd like to be?

Think of all the time you've spent in your life trying to be smarter, more beautiful, more talented, etc. When you look in magazines do you see 100 things you wish were different about yourself? When you see someone else succeed, do you wish it were you instead? Do you wish you were skinnier? Curvier? Had longer hair? Had blonder hair? Had a boyfriend? Etc. etc. etc.



Jeffery R Holland says it best when he said: 

"I suppose no one is as handsome or as beautiful as he or she wishes, or as brilliant in school or as witty in speech or as wealthy as we would like, but in a world of varied talents and fortunes that we can't always command, I think that makes even more attractive the qualities we can command. Such qualities as thoughtfulness, patience, a kind word, and true delight in the accomplishment of another. These cost us nothing, and they can mean everything to the one who receives them." 

My challenge to you today is to make a list, whether on actual paper, or just in your mind, about the qualities we CAN control. We can be hardworking, we can be understanding, we can be patient with those around us. 



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the most terrifying experience of my life

On Saturday I had the most heart-stopping terrifying experience of my life. I was with a girlfriend at a movie theater waiting to see a chick flick. Our husband's were in another theater watching Captain America. A few commercials in, a guy on the back row stood up started saying some weird stuff. At first we thought maybe he was just calling a friend up, or just yelling something weird about the movie.

I couldn't hear him super well because the movie was loud but he started getting louder and didn't look like he planned on sitting down anytime soon. And then he took his jacket off and put his hands in the air and started repeating "No oxygen. No oxygen in here. No oxygen....Everyone listen. It's not bad. It's not. It's not bad." Everyone's faces were in sheer terror. I was 99% sure he was going to hurt us.

The friend I was with started to stand up and said, "We need to get out of here." I told her to sit back down. If he had a gun he'd shoot her for running out. I started praying in my heart and looking around to see what everyone was going to do. A man in front of us said he was going to go up there but his girlfriend was holding him back with tears in her eyes. I stopped listening to the crazy man but he continued to yell. Everyone was watching him so I looked back just as he reached into his back pocket and someone yelled, "Everyone run!" And we all pushed and shoved our way out of the theater as fast as we could.

I never looked back. I ran and ran. Our lives were at stake and people were hysterical. I didn't ever hear gun shots, but we all just kept going anyway. I found my friend once we were out of the theater and held her while she cried. The police were heading in as soon as we got outside. I called my husband and he answered the second time, I told him it was an emergency and to grab my friend's husband as well. They came out and we told them what happened. They held our shaking bodies and I tried to get my heart rate back down to normal.

The police asked if we heard any direct threats. I told him no. He said another witness said the man threatened to throw a grenade and that's when everyone ran. I'm not sure if he actually did anything at all, or if even actually had anything on him. Everyone was okay so I guess nothing dramatic happened, and the movie theater went right about normal business.

If I was ever in a mass killing in a movie theater, I suspect that's how it would've felt. I was shaking and scared, but I also had so many thoughts run through my mind.

I was grateful I'd spent a night before with girlfriends I hadn't made time to see in almost 8 months. I'm grateful I kissed my husband and told him I loved him when we parted even though he was just in the next theater over. I was grateful I didn't have any regrets from my life in that moment.

I'll still go see movies at theaters, I might sit a little closer to the exit, but I'll still go. It was scary, but I was grateful in that moment that I was able to speak to my Heavenly Father and ask Him that if it be His will to protect us and help me to know what to do. I'm even more grateful to know that if something HAD happened, my marriage was an eternal marriage and that I would still be with my husband forever. It was eye-opening, and even though it's made it a little harder to sleep at night, I'm more grateful than ever for the life I am living and for all the beautiful people in it.

Be grateful. Live every moment like it's your last. And love those around you a little more than necessary, because in those life-changing moments, the relationships around us matter more than anything else. 

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sounds mind. 
1 Timothy 1:7

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update on us



She... 
Graduates cosmetology in September
Got a new blog design by the amazing Brielle
Is creating a long list of Netflix shows to watch
Steals the blankets at night
Is dreaming of a trip to Disneyland


He....
Is still working as an admissions consultant for an online university
Started his Bachelors for accounting at the beginning of April
Missing projects where he gets to build and is excited to get started on a Mother's Day project
Coerces Brooklyn onto the motorcycle every one in awhile
Makes the most delicious sconeburgers


We...
Are still reading our scriptures together and praying every night.
Watch Disney movies on Sunday's
Have been married 8.5 months
Love going to the gym with our friends
Are still living our happily ever after


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52 Posts That Will Make You a Blogging Rockstar



Promoting Your Posts
10 Things to Know to Have a Blog Post Go Viral
How to Use Hootsuite
How I Doubled My Pinterest Follows in 3 Weeks
How to Optimize Your Search Posts for Search Engines
Create a Pinterest Mouse Over
Getting Started on Pinterest for Blogs, Business, and Personal Use
Creating a 'Pin-It' Button
Getting Verified On Pinterest


Blog Posts
What can a Blog Series Do For You
Organizing Your Blog Posts
Tips for Your About Page
Style and Grammar Tips
How to Link in Your Posts the RIGHT Way

Images
How To Host Images on Blogger
How to Create a Blog Button
How to Resize a Photo- And Keep Its Proportions

Design Help
Customize Your "Page Not Found" 
Deleting the Photo Shadow
How To Center Your Header
How to Make a Blank Square for Blog Design on Blogger
5 Things Your Sidebar Is Missing
How to Make and Install a Favicon
How to Remove Dots and Dashes From The Bottom of Your Blog
5 Things You Should Know When Choosing a Web Designer
What to Look for In a Premade Design
3 Tips When Getting a Blog Design

Commenting & Planning
Blog Maintenance Things You're NOT Doing
Save a Tree, Use Evernote Instead of a Blog Planner
7 Ways to Be a Better Commenter
Dear No-Reply Comment Blogger
Are You a No-Reply Blogger?
How to Not Be a No Reply Blogger

Sponsorships
Ditch Passionfruit, Run Your Own Ad Shop!
Blog Sponsorships, A Few Things I've Learned

Blogging Do's and Don'ts
Blogging Tips
4 Blogging Etiquette Rules You Don't Know You're Breaking
4 MORE Blogging Etiquette Rules You Don't Know You're Breaking
Blogging Lessons, The Hard Way
Easy Starter Blogger Do's and Dont's
5 Basic Tips for Bloggers
Take Away Notes from a Blog Conference

New Bloggers
How to Start a Blog
Tips for New Bloggers

Wordpress
What I Love About Wordpress
Is Wordpress for You?
Blog Platform Comparison Chart
The Ultimate Guide from Moving from Blogger to Wordpress
Using nRelate
Moving Discus From Blogger to Wordpress
Google Analytics With Wordpress





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how to choose sponsored posts



Sponsored posts can be considered a taboo in the blogging world, as we tend not to trust something as a real recommendation if someone has been paid for it. However, there is a way to do this and to do it right. My name's Kate and I am the blogger behind Diaries of an Essex Girl, a travel and lifestyle blog that I write from Frankfurt, Germany where I currently live with my partner. We left England, decided to travel the world and with my blog being one of our sources of income now, I've had to teach myself how to keep my readers happy whilst keeping my bank balance in check. Here's the method I use to choose which sponsored posts to accept on my blog, I'm hoping it'll help you too!

  Is it relevant to current blog content?

One of the most important things to consider when you receive a sponsored post request is if it fits into your blog's niche. The amount of times I've seen a blog I like post about something completely unrelated is disappointing, it also really puts me off their blog. For example, if you have a food blog, you shouldn't accept a sponsored post for a travel company. The same goes if you have a travel blog and a fashion brand contacts you because it won't make any sense to your readers. Readers don't mind sponsored posts if they are relevant to the content because whatever you are advertising could be useful for them. Once I had a company ask me to advertise glasses in exchange for a free pair. First of all, I don't wear glasses and second of all, I am predominantly a travel blogger. Even lifestyle bloggers will struggle to get away with an entire post on glasses because their readers don't come for fashion, they come for lifestyle. Keep. It. Relevant.

  Can it be incorporated into current content?

This is my favourite way to accept sponsored content. I have a rule for myself when accepting sponsored posts that if I am going to cover a post similar to the sponsored content, I'll take it. For example, I wrote a post about visa issues my partner and I were having when looking into our future travel, and at the same time a visa company had contacted me for a sponsored post. As I knew I could include a sponsored link that was relevant to my readers, I took it on. I've done this several times now and found readers are the most responsive to links like this, as it doesn't spoil my content for a reader not interested in clicking the link. It's better to build a post, then include relevant sponsored content, than it is to build a post around sponsored content.

Would I recommend this if I weren't being paid?
The next thing to consider after I decide if the content is relevant to my blog, is if I would recommend it without being paid to do so. For example, I wouldn't recommend a hotel that charged $1000 per night for a room, even if the payout was good, because I know most of my readers (nor I!) could afford this. Also, because that is a ridiculous price for a hotel, right?

  How much am I compensated for this post?
This depends on the amount of readers you have, but you shouldn't be accepting pennies for including sponsored content. This is particularly important if you are a new blog or don't have a lot of daily visitors. Do not accept links that pay you per click, as chances are you won't make a lot of money from it. It's also not wise to accept sponsored links that pay you in commission for purchases made, unless you are an experienced blogger with a large readership. Personally, I prefer to receive payment before the post goes live or on the day the post goes live. However, getting a company to agree to this can be tricky. I would say the longest you should wait for payment is 30 days. Do not work with a company who pay you 3 months after you've posted the content unless you work with them regularly.

  Will I receive additional exposure?

As well as payment for your post, some companies will advertise it themselves, particularly if you are reviewing them. This is great exposure for your blog because this exposes their existing customers to you, and providing you've kept it relevant to your content, they should be interested in your other content too. A win-win situation, if you have the opportunity!

  When was my last sponsored post? I can't be the only blogger who has un-followed a blog because of the amount of sponsored posts it churns out, can I? Time and time again, this is an issue with bloggers who begin to earn money from their blogs. Make sure you space out your sponsored posts and consider what your blog's homepage/RSS feed looks like at a glance. Ideally, you don't want more than one sponsored post in your ten most recent posts. If you accidentally schedule two sponsored posts close to each other, ensure your content surrounding it is of great quality. Don't let your readers unfollow you because they assume every post is trying to sell them something for your own gain. Your readers need to be able to trust you. I hope these tips will help you in deciding what sponsored content to accept on your blog, whether you are a new or old blogger!

 Do you currently accept sponsored posts? What other things do you consider before you take them on?

how and when to reply to comments

Happy Spring Cleaning! My name is Kathryn and I blog over at As Told By Kathryn.

ATBK

That's me! I have been blogging for a year on "As Told By Kathryn" but previously had a YouTube channel for almost a year, and have had two other blogs as well. As much as I loved my YouTube channel, it wasn't for me. It was a very cliquey community and very limiting. Whatever you classified yourself as was what you had to make videos on, otherwise it was not accepted. And when you would be classified as "lifestyle" then that produced the assumption that you would do Daily Vlogs. It was just  a lose lose situation. So I started a blog. But I was a newbie and thought that I still had to abide by these non existent "rules" and posted really awkward posts about nail polishes and my favorite drug store makeup and it was just awkward and forced and weird. So when people would comment on any of these posts, I would never know how to respond to comments. If it was a question, I would answer it, and if it was a statement I would just let it sit there. I didn't know what to do with them! I also had my "comment approval" on as well as a "captcha" (that really annoying thing trying to convince you that you're actually a robot). 

Then I started "As Told By Kathryn." A blog where I could talk about what I wanted to talk about it, how I wanted to phrase it, what pictures I would post, when I would post. I was comfortable with my blog and loved it. And that is when comments became a thing. These weren't comments from strangers or a random person. These comments were from friends. They were thoughtful comments, comments that I wanted to respond to. So, with all of that: When and how are YOU supposed to respond to comments?

I like to respond as soon as I can. This being said, it is difficult to always respond right when I get the comment. Life happens, you will get busy, things will come up, and that comment notification or email will get buried before you know it. I try to respond to comments within the week it was posted. Just because it is fresh in your mind, their mind, win win situation. To help with this, be sure to have your comment notifications sent to your email! This is a new tip that I just added, but the comments are posted on my blog but are also sent to me as an email, so I can respond right away from my email if I have my phone on hand. With this, though, your response comment will not post on your blog, so if that if something you wanted, be sure to respond directly on your blog (thats's how it works for blogger at least)! 

Now that we have the "when," we get the how. BE REAL. I cannot emphasize this enough. Your blog is you, it is your personality, your life, your day, your experience, so let that shine through your comment! Even if it is just a simple "thank you! xo" or if you don't like that, at least something. Why? Because they took the time to read your blog, and leave a comment, letting you know their opinions, or just them telling you they read your post! It was an act of kindness, and we want to keep the world running so respond with another act of kindness. I get really giddy when people leave comments on my blog because I am still shocked that people actually read it. 

Luckily, I have not had to deal with hate comments on my blog, but I did have some of these on my YouTube. They aren't fun, but you just have to be the bigger person, because the bigger picture is that you are putting yourself and your life out there, on the internet, for everyone and anyone to see, and they are hiding behind a computer/phone/iPad/whatever other technology you can get internet on now-a-days. This is when people turn on their comment approval notifications, but I feel that that isn't necessary just because my blog community experience has been so positive that it has not been an issue. Either way, my rule of thumb is to respond to all comments! Even if it is just a quick "thanks" or a "hi" or anything! They took the time to let you know they read your post, the least you could do for them is let them know you appreciate them for that!


staying true to yourself in blogging

true-to-yourself 

  1. Remember why you started. Everyone starts a blog for one reason or another. For some of us the reason was to keep a journal of our life happenings so our family could be up to date. For others it is a creative outlet so we can post fashion and crafts. Someone said to me the other day, "It still makes me happy just to have a place to share my thoughts, ya know?" Yes. I do know! And that is refreshing to hear, because at the end of the day... having that place is the best reason for blogging. 

  2. Know your strengths. This ultimately comes back to why you started. None of us started a blog to share the things we weren't good at. We started our blog to share things we think our worth sharing with the people around us. Let me give you a quick example from my own life. Sometimes I like to do crafts... but at the end of the day I am extremely impatient and within an hour of starting I try to figure out a crafting shortcut. By no means is crafts a strength for me... so while I will share little things I am doing sometimes, I don't put focus there because no one wants to see instructions on how to craft a craft that is only halfway done. Ya dig? 

  3. Focus on your blog and not how you can achieve another blog's status. The moment I started worrying about how to grow and how I could be like (fill in the blank) and her blog... I lost all sight of what I was writing about. It was more of, what can I write that will get readers over to my little corner of the internet? And at that point not only did I loose myself, but I lost the readers that had been extremely important to me in the first place! The ones that had supported me since the very beginning. They are more important than a million of trendy followers. 

  4. Be honest. Don't pretend. From day one I made a promise to myself that I would never sugar coat my life. I have had some really awesome times but I have had some really sucky times too... and I do not want to be the person that makes other women feel like their life is less than perfect because they are not living on cloud nine all the time. So I share how hard it is to be away from my husband, but I also share how wonderful he is to me while we are apart. And I share that I lost my job, but I also share when I get a job I love. Don't pretend your life is hunky dory. Because eventually that will carry from blog life to real life and you will miss out on some of the greatest lessons in life. There is a lot more too my remaining true to yourself list... and you can read all over it over at Love, The Skinnys. I can tell you from my own time blogging that I have learned a lot about myself because I followed these steps. And I have fallen into the trap of keeping up with the next big blogger more times than I care to admit. But at the end of the day, the choice is up to you if you want to live a life for yourself or live a life to impress others. And the only way to become confident in the person you are, is to remain true to yourself... in your writing and in your life.