As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are encouraged to refrain from sex until marriage. We are taught that is is a gift we can gift our spouse by staying virtuous and clean for them. So of course, being the good girl I've always been, I was a virgin until my wedding night.
Growing up in the church we learn very little about sexuality. It's a taboo subject that people are afraid to talk about. (Although I wish we weren't that way, culturally it's just happened over time.) I just think people want to be careful about what they say so as to maintain the sacredness, but it's gotten out of hand. So I'll admit I was pretty dang clueless about what having sex would be like, especially the first time.
So I did my research, and here are 3 books I'd suggest reading before your honeymoon...
1. And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage Through Sexual Fulfillment
In the book it talks about "Good Girl Syndrome." Aka, being taught for so long that 'sex is bad' and basing your identity off your virginity. Once you're married, thinking that sex is bad WILL HURT YOUR MARRIAGE. God does not want you to feel guilty for having sex once you are married, in fact, he wants you to enjoy it! This book helped me to realize how important it is to recognize that sex isn't bad, it's just reserved for marriage.
I'll admit that since I didn't struggle with this as much, I skimmed some of the book. But I have good friends who have struggled with Good Girl Syndrome and wish they had read this book before tying the knot! This is a great book to read to put yourself in the new mindset that sex isn't bad, it's just sacred.
2. Between Husband And Wife
President Spencer W. Kimball stated, "If you study the divorces . . . you will find there are [many] reasons. Generally, sex is the first; they did not get along sexually. They may not say that in court. They may not even tell that to their attorneys, but that is the reason."
This book has chapters specifically designated for husbands as well as chapters specifically designated for wives. It talks about what to expect on your honeymoon, where to draw the line, and what happens if there's sexual dysfunction. Everything you ever wanted to know, but didn't want to ask about sex in marriage.
This books gets down to the nitty gritty. Want to avoid having your own wedding night horror story? Read this book. Highlight it. Memorize parts of it. Share it with your fiance.
It talks about the anatomy of male and female bodies. Awkward? Maybe. But it shouldn't be, plus it's important to understand to enjoy marital intimacy. It's very detailed, but not in a uncomfortable way. He uses proper terminology, as well as explaining why God created sex.
Some consider this book outdated because it IS pretty old, but after reading through it, it's really not. It's timeless information that every newlywed couple should have.
-And that's my list! What other books about sexuality in marriage would you suggest?-
I definitely agree about the first two. I LOVE Between Husband & Wife. Haven't read the third, but I'll have to check it out. I also really like Married for Better, Not Worse.
ReplyDeleteIsn't sex wonderful? ;)
Another really good one is called And Then Comes Marriage.
ReplyDeleteMy sister gave me the third book you listed to read when I got married :)
ReplyDeleteSomeone gave me The Wedding Bed by Amy Wilcox before I got married and it SAVED MY LIFE. I love this blog post! Way to go there!
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