On May 21, 2013 I got engaged to the man of my dreams. Considering he was my first ever "official" boyfriend, he's been my guinea pig in a lot of ways! So today I want to share 3 things I have learned about healthy relationships from my husband whom I refer to as Mr. Jolley. (Pretty great name to marry into right?)
Someone will always think you spend too much time together or too little of time together. Someone will think you dated too long or didn't date long enough. Someone will always tell you that you are doing it all wrong. But as long as you and your partner are committed and making each other happy, no one else can really tell you how to appropriately live your life.
2. There is a HUGE difference between wanting to be in control and the desire for stability.
Men generally don't want to tell you what to do and how to live your life. They aren't naturally controlling. What they want is someone dependable. It's not that he wants to always know where you are in case he needs you, it's because he will worry that he can't protect you if he doesn't know where to find you. I read about this in a book called "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It." It was such a new concept to me but ever since I read it I have found it to be true over and over. So give your man a break, and just answer his questions without getting upset about why he needs to be all up in your business.
3. True love is intentional.
Mr. Jolley and I took the love language quiz early in our relationship. And although we love each other in ALL the ways, he knows that in a crowded room, nothing means more to me that him putting his arm around me. I know that quality time is so vital to fill his love tank that I almost always leave my phone at home when we go places so I can't even have the option of pulling it out. We send each other mushy texts, I brag about him to my friends at school, and we hold hands at inconvenient times. Because we want to never stop loving each other.
Awh, I love this! And I completely agree that doing all of that is totally what makes a great relationship. You can never take the little things for granted!
ReplyDeleteNumber one could not be more true. I think that is the fastest thing that you have to learn to handle. I still struggle with it, but the the only people and opinions that should truly matter is yours and your significant others.
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the new relationship I'm in and have been in for a short while but seems like forever, I've learned various things. I never realized how open and honest a relationship can be. and how no matter what's going on in life, you have someone there who you can vent to and who will listen and who will love you during your best and worse times.
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Stories and relationships like yours are a prime example of why I won't settle! Yes, I am in college and I am not looking for my husband right now, but I have come into situations where I could have "settled" (as much as I hate that word) and I didn't because I knew that something greater was out there, not only for my happiness, but for his too!
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So true! Especially the very first one, you really can't please everyone.
ReplyDeleteOk I loved this soooo much! People are always judging and saying my relationship is so unhealthy because I like to know where he is and he likes to know where I am. I don't have a problem with it but others do. I loved your explanation of this :)
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