When I got engaged in May, one of my best friends expressed immediate disapproval of the man I had chosen to spend forever with. It was a struggle. I tried to talk him up, I tried to share every good thing about him, and every nice thing he ever said or did to me. I wanted to have the world validate the goodness in him and in our relationship. And now that I'm married, it hasn't got any easier.
One of the problems about being a part of the blogging world, is you get to see all the good of everyone else's lives. Husbands who bring home fresh flowers every week, wives who make EVERY freaking meal from scratch, mothers who fix all 5 girls hair before church, and love notes left between couples. I'm not saying it's bad to post those kind of things, I think it's really important to share our successes, it's not to dim others light, but to give them permission to shine too.
The problem is, I want to change the world's opinion on marriage. I want women to see that marriage doesn't lessen their worth, or keep them from reaching their goals. I want to teach men that is is wonderful to settle down and raise a family. I want everyone to see my marriage and think "Man, marriage is pretty wonderful."
That friend who disapproved of my husband still does. She still thinks he's pretty awful. I want to shout at her, "DIDN'T YOU READ MY BLOG? DON'T YOU SEE HOW IN LOVE WE ARE?? WE GO ON DATE NIGHT EVERY WEEK, WE PRAY AND READ SCRIPTURES TOGETHER, WE SUPPORT EACH OTHER! MY MARRIAGE ROCKS!"
I'm coming to understand that my marriage isn't between her and I, it's between my husband and I. It's about two flawed people, who've committed to a lifetime of living, learning and annoying each other. I will continue to share lots of marriage posts on my blog, because my husband is my #1 priority. But I'm learning that I don't need anyone to approve of my marriage except God, my husband, and myself.
So I don't need you to tell me my husband is amazing or handsome or spiritual. The only person who needs to believe that is me. I don't need any of you to tell me that I should've dated him longer, or shouldn't have got married so young. I don't need to know anyone's dang statistics. In my opinion, my marriage DOES rock. And honestly? That's all I care about.