On May 21, 2013 I got engaged to the man of my dreams. Considering he was my first ever "official" boyfriend, he's been my guinea pig in a lot of ways! So today I want to share 3 things I have learned about healthy relationships from my husband whom I refer to as Mr. Jolley. (Pretty great name to marry into right?)
Someone will always think you spend too much time together or too little of time together. Someone will think you dated too long or didn't date long enough. Someone will always tell you that you are doing it all wrong. But as long as you and your partner are committed and making each other happy, no one else can really tell you how to appropriately live your life.
2. There is a HUGE difference between wanting to be in control and the desire for stability.
Men generally don't want to tell you what to do and how to live your life. They aren't naturally controlling. What they want is someone dependable. It's not that he wants to always know where you are in case he needs you, it's because he will worry that he can't protect you if he doesn't know where to find you. I read about this in a book called "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It." It was such a new concept to me but ever since I read it I have found it to be true over and over. So give your man a break, and just answer his questions without getting upset about why he needs to be all up in your business.
3. True love is intentional.
Mr. Jolley and I took the love language quiz early in our relationship. And although we love each other in ALL the ways, he knows that in a crowded room, nothing means more to me that him putting his arm around me. I know that quality time is so vital to fill his love tank that I almost always leave my phone at home when we go places so I can't even have the option of pulling it out. We send each other mushy texts, I brag about him to my friends at school, and we hold hands at inconvenient times. Because we want to never stop loving each other.